Writing a poem about writing a poem

Creative writing class assignment today! Professor gave us a writing prompt to start the assignment. “I look for this poem in…”

My classmates really enjoyed my poem as I read it aloud! They laughed at the end of almost every stanza! I love creative people I hope you enjoy it too!

I look for this poem in…

The hallway of Dorothy Donahue hall it wasn’t there

but I found a frat boy eating a pear

I look for this poem in…

the spot near the vending machines

It was clearly nowhere near

but I saw Professor Woodman drinking beer

I look for this poem at the bus stop where

I found no poem, just smoggy air

I look for this poem on the bench

Where people sit, no poem

But some girl eating a banana split

I look for this poem watching squirrels

I found nothing but a guy doing bicep curls

Hope for love

newzealand

I woke up this morning with nothing really on my mind except D. I didn’t expect to hear from him again after he dismissed me earlier this year. He called me yesterday. I am not quite sure when we stopped communicating, because in order to remove myself from him I had to remove the What’s App from my phone. When I am getting to know somebody that I am attracted to I study them. What I mean to say is that I go over conversations that we have had, and examine the words and thoughts exchanged. I learned to do this, because I sometimes miss things, and that can lead to confusion. I also do this because the good vibrations resurface when I go over the conversations. I spend most of my time in my little bubble, and the exchange of thoughts and ideas encourages me. Makes me feel warmth inside what is normally a lukewarm soul.

I went to work today and my coworker was not his normal self. Normally he just sleeps in the chair and leaves preparing breakfast to me, but today he got right to it! Normally he is flirtatious and harasses me, but today he was evasive and stand-offish. He normally asks me for a ride to the store where he catches a bus home, but today he left without a word.

The thought crossed my mind that maybe another coworker mentioned to him that I said that he doesn’t do much when I am there, and he took it to mean I was attempting to get him in trouble. Here I am thinking just a week ago he was feeling me up trying to get me to screw him, and now this. Precisely the reason that I keep my distance from people.

I watched a video that I had downloaded on YouTube entitled, “Emotional intelligence”. I was hoping to gain some insight into my problem. It is tough to call it a problem, because I don’t see anything wrong really. My “problem” is that I love people freely. I don’t try to wait to see if they are worthy. I meet you, and I begin to invest emotionally. As I become familiar with you, your hopes and dreams, I invest in them as well. I wish for you the best and try and help in any way that I can to help you move closer to the realization of said dream.

That is a generalization of my process, but with men that I am attracted to I go even further. I fall hopelessly in love with the idea of being in love. I know exactly what I am doing while I am doing it, and I know that it is most likely not mutual. I throw caution to the wind and do it anyway! Isn’t love what we all want?

As I examined myself and my process after my coworker hurt my feelings with his evasiveness, I was grateful again that I didn’t let him in. His actions would have hurt me even more if that were the case.

D wants me to come and see him. Believe me, I would like nothing better than to rest my eyes on the beautiful energy that radiates about him. My lips crave the touch of his, and to sit and talk with him would move me out of this funk that I have been in since we parted ways. I am still connected to him. In a way that probably is not healthy for me. So, I am struggling with my decision to grant him a visit, or to keep away and continue trying to work him out of my system. I don’t know what the right thing is to do. What I do know is that if this visit would be my last interaction with a man whom I love, and I live another 48 years alone, I will regret not going. Tomorrow is not promised.

My infatuation with him moves me to question my own emotional intelligence. I am fairly intelligent, and educated, but when it comes to matters of the heart I am like a kid in an amusement park. Love is the sensation of riding the rollercoaster, and men are the rides! Some rollercoasters are fast, and that love whisks you down a rabbit hole from reality into a place like wonderland.  Call me Alice and watch me jump knowing full well that the Jabbawockee waits to kill me. Just like Alice, I get sucked in to the story and want to be the hero and save the day for my love.

Other rollercoasters are faster still, and reach new heights in the sky so, the fall sends my heart into my throat! I hold my breath because of the rush, and close my eyes so I don’t see the grounds (rock bottom) fast approach. That’s the kind of love that taught me about being wounded to the point of numbness. It takes real-time, and effort to climb out of the rock bottom. It makes me feel some kind of way you know? Am I stupid to keep trying to be open to love, and in the meantime continuing to give it freely? How do you determine if someone is worthy? How do they know that I am worthy? It makes me think about the world and how all these people keep doing desperate things to hurt other people they don’t even know. There is a nasty deficit of love in this world. Too many people are hurting, and no one seems to care enough to notice.

I listened to the news this morning. They told a sad story about a man dying in a motorcycle accident, and immediately  after that story I see the headline:

“Two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand, faced a terror attack after gunman Brenton Tarrant left 50 people dead in mass shooting on Friday, March 15.”  NBC news

I ask myself why did this man arrive at the point where he believed he had to do this? Why a religious place? Religion can be used for many things. For me, when I was religious, I looked to God for hope. I could hope for His eternal love and acceptance, because I am hard pressed to find it anywhere else. Those people I am sure held that kind of hope as well. What did Brenton hope for? Why did he do what he did? Was he in so much lack in love that he could only feel hate? The next thing I see is;

Facebook says that it removed 1.5 million videos of the New Zealand mass shooting-The Verge

Why are people so enchanted by horrific acts? This video is not something that I care to see. Foolish Gambino shooting up the church in the “This is America” music video was disturbing to me! I don’t understand the world that we live in today. I know that all I want is love and acceptance, but I fear that I will only be offered it from a select few of my family members. Don’t misunderstand me for the love of my family members I am so grateful, but I long for the love story that Noah and Allie had. To have a man love me to the point of accepting my forgetting him, and still not leaving my side. It hurts at times so much that I feel like giving up, but I entertain the thought, and that idea hurts all the more, so I refuse to do so. My hope for love will have to suffice. I will keep loving freely, and maybe one day reciprocity will meet me in the middle of it all. I must hope for love in this cold world, because as I see it there are enough people who lack and too many victims of hate.

CHRISTCHURCH, New ZealandThe sharp cracks of gunfire were so confusing that at first the imam continued his sermon on forgiveness and brotherhood. Wall Street Journal

I gotta shrink myself (session 3)

DrFeelGood: Hello Salt! How are you today?

Me: Im here! Ready for next level healing! Lets go!

DrFeelGood: Thats good! Shall we pick up where we left off?

Me: Ok doc. You were telling me something about learning to fish?

DrFeelGood: Thats the idea. You were to examine your idea of the roles in a relationship and accountability.

Me: Oh yeah. Well basically he does all the heavy lifting and I keep myself pretty.

DrFeelGood: Could you elaborate? We determined that a mans role in a relationship does not mirror the role a fathers to his daughter.

Me: Yeah I get that, but how is that the man is not to mirror the role of a father but I gotta mind him like he my daddy?

DrFeelGood: What do you mean Salt?

Me: You said I needed to be accountable to him. I dont understand how that is important but I dont get whatever I want?

DrFeelGood: (Shaking his head)What I meant about accountability is that you both should respect and govern your behavior in a manner that enriches your relationship.

Me: Isnt letting me be the boss enriching the relationship? Happy wife. Happy life right?

DrFeelGood: Letting you be the boss is not respecting him. Your partner should not only have a voice, you should want his input.

Me: (Rolling her eyes) I have yet to find someone who I wanted their input on what I want to do! I have tried in the past to accommodate them, but they want to do dumb stuff like go golfing!

DrFeelGood: I never suggested that you be accommodating! Thats what you do when someone is in need of something you have. Your lovers wants and needs should interest you. If its something like golfing that you dont necessarily enjoy then you dont have to participate in that.

Me: I dont know doc maybe I should give up on finding a mate. Maybe I am not built for relationships!

DrFeelGood: No I dont believe that is the issue at all. Humans are sexual beings. Our bodies are built for relationship and equipped for procreation at the very least. You gotta have a little familiarity for that!

Me: That part doc I dont think I need help with. The physicality of relationship I am proficient in!

DrFeelGood: I believe that you should stop looking for a mate. Focus on yourself. Examine your role in previous relationships and try and step outside of yourself to see what you can from your partners point if view.

Me: Uh okay Ill try but I dont see how this will help me with my loneliness. I just need to find someone that wants what I want.

DrFeelGood: What do you want Salt?

Me: To be treated like a queen! I will not accept anything less.

DrFeelGood: I know that you are not a lost cause, but in order to be a queen you either gotta be born of a king, or you have to marry a king! A queen has many duties she is expected to perform and she is subordinate to her king.

Me: Subordinate? That sounds too close to submission! Im not doing that!

DrFeelGood: Well we got some work ahead of us and I am grateful for the end of todays session. Homework is to research duties of a queen unto a king. See you next week Salt.

A dear diary entry

I’m at work waiting for the next task to become due. My work duties come in small sections of times. I cook for them and I wait. I get them up and I wait. I clean up after breakfast and I wait for them to leave. Once they are gone I clean up their rooms and then I am done here. So, I read blogs that I follow while I wait. I scan Instagram. I study on quizlet. If I am really bored I look at Facebook (not my favorite).

I’m looking for inspiration and creative energy like mine. I love the small community of followers that I have discovered and those who discovered me on WordPress! I feel like I am getting to know my extended family. I hope to continue to meet new people and learn more about writing, and myself.

When I began my blog it was to have an outlet for all the noise in my life! Especially, the noise in my brain lol! Now the goal is to pick through it all, and find what is valuable and good for consumption.

Tomorrow is Friday another day for self reflection or what I termed as “shrinking myself.” Thats turning out to be the craziest thing I am doing because I don’t plan ahead for what I will say or do. I just sit and have an honest conversation with myself! If you read til the end have a great day family!

Same Reason

Felicia Hermelinda

Who would have known
In the beginning

It was always
All smiles for us,
The excitement of what is to come,
The late night conversations,
The laughter,
The getting to know each other,
The gentle pull of our bodies,
The touch of our lips,
The entanglement of our souls.

Who would have known
In the End

The Smiles you share,
The excitement of what is to come,
The late night conversations,
The laughter,
The getting to know one another,
The gentle pull of two bodies,
The touch of two lips,
The entanglement of two souls.

Tell me how could you go from one beginning to another and leave me to feel to the pain of our loves end, alone.

Who would have known
The same reasons why I love you became the same reasons why I hate you.

-FeliciaxHerme

The poem was written about a man who often man you

View original post 23 more words

Words unspoken, thoughts revealed

I wake up everyday and before too long

You invade my thoughts with vibrations so strong

I can’t make sense of it

Your hold is so tight

I refrain from accepting when temptations invite

You said it plainly then

And shot straight from the hip

The goal is to own me with no relationship

I heard what you said and

It sounds good to me

my chronic independence won’t let me be

I’m not built for marriage

And Introversion is key

I thrive in my alone time,Productively

Other people distract, especially males for me but

I’m drawn to your mind and

The operations that be, you

Have managed to ensnare the sexual creature in me

Anothers advance?

my psyche won’t do

only with you, I dance

I lie in wait for the chance

blow my mind, leave me entranced

You own me body and soul, but that

intensity of energy,you hold

anxiously I wait, the day to show

how I’m feeling you should know

My followers I love you

img_0178Oh, Sweet Word Addiction you’re the tip of the top, and one swipe to the right.

Looking like you look u belong in the spotlight!

A Crook’sEyeView appears as passive aggressive and looking as such

He’s really a cool dude, he doesn’t get out too much!

When MissVanilla is on the scene, you know her rhymes can be mean.

Following @marvaseaton who tell us hope is that feeling. In times good and bad you’ll catch her kneeling!

Now for my guy srijan, I would do all that I can.

Cause he’s got nice friends like jesbinjohn and BetulErbasi that will hypnotize y’all with what fun they call.

Writing New York bestsellers like Kristie and Mark. They’ve got skills in literary art.

If you need to relax you can listen at SoundAnytime and they will flex

see em put together the best reading of words you’ll be so impressed!

Writers are indeed the best!

But better still, you haven’t lived until, you run into my amigo, the Word Hunter tho!

He’s dope and plays for keeps, similar to that one ill guy iLiKeShEep. Leecoppin be poppin and his flairs is fly

Like, That new guy IkePaz who likes jazz

and he’s a bit below my girl Poo jaG who hustles for dough

Natalie I dig that you drop by it’s cool to converse

About revistatrascendiendo, and how they rehearse.

For poetry night antoncrace and sherissaeafropunk deliver their act.

They show up and show out with their vocab stacked.

Wordsmithing and spitting rhetoric like few do.

Ilonapuliananauskaite I might faint from pronouncing your name, but girl you my gurl it’s good to see you in the game.

CelebrityNewsPW keeps us onto what is going on out there, while Alexander and Best Tongkat takes turns up to bat deciding what jacket to wear.

ManessahB. Is hot and deserves her own spot

to grant the new ranks of future heir,

Her highness is dope

with hair so long, and skin so fair

The homies Gareth and observationblogger hang in the back just checkin the scene

They spot Charlie and The Cat’s Write, producing a Shakespearen sonnet

With Paul and irevuo trying to sing a duet.

The teach is sweet as rabidoak and pretty predictable you see?

He asks if that makes sense more times in a week
than there are grains of sand in the sea
poemsbypoorvi are the best you really should give em a glance

Look them up if you get the chance

while youre in that bend look up Christian
he last is Mihai
not sure if that ‘i’is long or short so I will to avoid to say
I might ask my friend johncoyote or RTW the way
to JordanPeters or constancebourg
house Ive heard they’re filthy rich
To royalehemp and LucidBeing

They look unhitched
Dr Damon, Shreya and Raul will do a barber quartet
joining with Marcel Rus to blend the notes to perfect

Qasir journals with ease
in his Godly Chic Diaries
Was it his FracturedFaith that he put away
while he blogged about stilllearning2b
simple Ula or Bogdan in the Alchemist trial
for the sweetest elixir to read.

You gave my propoganda a look and look what it took!

I’m charmed to express my thoughts in a digital book!

A friendship poem 

You call urself a life coach

I think its fair to say

The name is not your title but you deserve the pay

Your words have been an inspiration to me

I have benefited in ways from A to Z

Its my good pleasure to call you friend

I look forward and hope youll stick around to the end

I know you love to read

For you I like to write

In the past 5 minutes

I pulled together this poem for you to enjoy tonight!!

Lol.

Dear friend

Hey there! I hope this letter finds you well and in good spirits. It’s a beautiful Sunday afternoon and I feel like I’m spiraling out of control!

Momma went to the hospital on Wednesday. She had been struggling to get out of the bed for at least 3 days prior, and was complaining of generalized joint stiffness and pain. That Wednesday afternoon I left to go to school worrying about her condition. I informed my English Professor that I needed to be able to answer my phone. Sure enough with 15 minutes left of class my phone rang. It was my son informing me that my mom was vomiting a black substance that had a foul odor. “I don’t know what this is but it doesn’t look like throwup” he says! So I left school and came home to find her laying on the side of the bed with her legs hanging off (she hasn’t had the strength to get all the way in the bed). I could see staining from the vomit on her clothes and the bed. “Momma what do you want to do?” Momma replies,”I wanna go to the hospital so I can feel better.” So, my son and I help her get dressed and into the car. We take her to the emergency room.

In the ER the lobby/waiting room is nearly full. There are many patients waiting to be seen and, 3 patients sitting in wheelchairs. Momma is so weak that another patient asks if he can help with her. He’s convinced that she’s going to topple over out of her walker. She’s sitting on the little bench seat doubled over. My son is sitting right next to her and I know that he wouldn’t let her fall onto the floor.

We finally get to the back and they put her on a gurney. After all the poking her full of holes to try and put in an IV they ask me to remove her socks and pants so they can put in a catheter. Mommas right heel is black from the diabetic ulcer that is refusing to heal. She reeks of urine because she is incontinent, and all I can do is feel bad. It’s my fault that she smells pissy. I should be bathing her more. I’m the cause of the diabetic ulcer on her foot. I mean I should make her get out of bed when she is too weak to stand!

I try and rationalize it but all I can do is assign blame. I must not be trying hard enough! I should be able to do this right? I don’t know how. It’s hard to lift her when she is weak. As a matter of fact, if she doesn’t help I cannot lift her. She is too heavy for me.

Today as I sat in her hospital room and listened to the pulmonary doctor tell her that she might get discharged I panicked! I thought she can’t walk! How do I take care of her?

I walk outside and talk to her nurse. I tell her all that I told you. She says not to worry. More than likely doctor will want her to go to a skilled nursing facility.

Skilled nurse is what I am working to become but I am not there yet. That is where she belongs. Bed sores on her feet and bottom says to me that I can no longer effectively care for her.

Momma is not going to be happy! I am not going to be able to tell her that she needs more care than I can give her. I feel like such a failure What am I supposed to do? Do I agree that she should come home although I am overwhelmed? Should she go to skilled nursing at least, until the wound on her heel and bottom is healed? I’m thinking the second choice is the best but momma won’t like it.

I’m so discouraged right now.