If you say that you can you can indeed!

Norman Vincent Peale once said, “Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. The way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are.”


The author’s argument is that sometimes things that we face in life, especially the ones that seem to have an impossible end, we are most successful at when the end goal is to do the very best that we can, instead of deciding that it would be too difficult to try at all. *

I must take a stand in support of this author and his statement because, as I am a returning college student (at 50 years old), the primary direct caretaker to my very sick 83- year-old mother. She was admitted into a skilled nursing facility in November of 2019 after falling and breaking her leg in the hallway. I have been taking care of her since 2005 when she was being discharged from the hospital after having suffered a gangrenous gall bladder infection. This infection caused her to need surgery. While being discharged the doctor recommended a skilled nursing home because she lived alone.

Once Momma heard that she could not go home she became inconsolable. Stating, “I just want to go home!” I was trapped in an abusive marriage because I only had a part time job. Momma needing a room mate and my needing a place to stay proved to be a good opportunity for the both of us. However, it would not be easy because momma and I never see eye to eye on anything! I always thought that she was just deluded and stuck in the ways and beliefs of her generation, and that she couldn’t understand my plight. Now that she is very sick with COVID-19, and bed bound I understand that I cannot take as good care of her physical body as a skilled nursing unit with numerous CNA’s and nurses, but I can have a good attitude about the subpar physical care that I am providing her is unmatched by the emotional and spiritual care she is getting here. Momma fights me everyday when I try to encourage her out of the bed. She keeps saying, “I can’t do it!” I keep saying “Well if you have already decided that you cannot then you will not.” A few days ago, I got her to stand up out of the bed. After reminding her that she had just been given a blood transfusion, and how that new blood has the power of life in it and that her legs were stronger than before. I coached her into believing that she could trust her legs, and she did, and she stood up and used her bedside commode. This is another confirmation that success is more about your attitude towards a certain task than it is about your actual performance. I believe that I can be successful at caring for my dying mother because I am doing it. I am not constantly complaining about how difficult it is to attend University, take care of a bed bound incontinent 200 lb. elderly, cranky, dementia-plagued mother, with some semblance of a life for myself (what little there is) and that is to me success.

Momma believed me when I told her that the blood transfusion made her stronger, and that she was no longer as weak as she was before she got the blood. I encouraged her to trust her legs and stand up, because the blood would give her the strength to stand. She stood that day. Her attitude shifted from defeat to success because she believed me and trusted her legs.