Day Three- 30 day fast

Day Three- 30 Day Prayerimg_9718
10/16/2019 8:06:41 AM
I learned from yesterday that if I write/speak my prayer with the Word fresh on my mind, I will be able to recollect any thoughts that came to mind while listening in prayer. Today I acknowledge the idea that prayer is not only reading from your grocery list of personal wants and needs. Prayer isn’t only asking God for stuff. When I say ‘stuff’ I mean anything that comes to mind with that word. Yes indeed, “You can ask your Heavenly Father for anything!” I told my own kids repeatedly from childhood, and even today as they are all grown up. My eldest is now parenting me at times with those same words. All I can do with that is praise God that he was indeed so helpful with raising her. He sent her from heaven already equipped with so much Godly wisdom that she has done nothing but amaze me the whole 31 years of her life! Such a blessing for a 17-year-old high school dropout!
She brings to mind another lesson learned. Don’t judge too quickly the dilemma in your life as some sort of curse. It’s not what you suffer, but how you choose to suffer. Suffer with gladness that you can feel at all!
Today’s old testament standout verse was Jeremiah 29:11, today I got to read it in its entire context. The people were going in exile, and it would be 70 years (a lifetime) before anything changed. So basically, those plans to prosper and not to harm were not to be seen fulfilled by some of Gods people because they would die before the people would prosper. I refuse to wear the title of ‘religious’ because of my past. I believe there’s a good nugget of wisdom here. Wisdom all through this ancient text. If you are reading this and you’ve been following this blog and reading some posts you wouldn’t see someone who is overtly religious, so just know that I am firstly a woman who has lived 49 years now. I have lived to see the loss of one parent, one child, and one spouse. I have also at 21 earned and received my high school diploma, at 28 my associate’s degree, and license to practice dental hygiene. At 32 I purchased my own home for myself and my 3 children. 2002 was an awesome year for achievement as I earned $100K in that year. I had a lot of ups and downs and life is just that to me basically.
Sometimes there is the summer season where everything is green, and calm. It’s not too cool, and not too warm. The suns rays bathe you in a pale orange light. Blue and green hues are everywhere and it’s pleasing to your eyes. Other times all you see is hazy colorless light. It’s either a bit too cool and you shiver at the harsh gusts of wind that blow, or a bit too warm and you gotta keep tugging at the yoke of your shirt to unstick it from your body! Ugh…
I am encouraged to trust in the plan, and while it’s winter I will curl up with a book and some hot coffee and read, pray or write. Todays Psalm was a letter for me 😊 It seemed that way anyway, “Incline your ear and answer me, I am poor and needy, save your servant, for to you all I do is cry all day! On and on! Yeah that’s me. I’m grateful that I can be. It’s a hard life to live when you know that your living on the spiritual outskirts and you don’t look for help because you’re guilty ☹ I will tell you “Church hurt” is an awful feeling. The worst kind of hurt to me. I could accept my ex’s faults better, because he wasn’t born evil. He learned it by witnessing it, and mimicking. But church folk that hurt you with their own interpretations and judgements do some real damage… the kind that destroy families, and people’s lives. But God is showing me that those people need Him, and are no different in His sight than me. I don’t have any grievance with them, but my stance should and will now be against the behavior and the wizard behind the curtain.
Proverbs 25:17 made me laugh today! Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house- too much of you and they will hate you!! Lol
I have this insecurity about getting to know someone. I have a blog because of this insecurity! When I make new friends (which is btw really difficult for me) I hesitate to talk, and then I just talk and talk. Then I think they must be exhausted from hearing you speak. You talk too much! Then I will stop talking at all. Not even say hello. Some of my new friends fall away at that point. Still there are those that find me a bit more intriguing and they hang in there with me to my next phase. “Come look at all I’m doing!” Look! I have an IG account with 10K followers! I like to write! Check out my blog!” says me. Everything’s cool right? Until they see that I have deep rooted issues!! 😊 Doesn’t everyone? Well some folks prefer to not be all over the place, and there’s me! I am what I am like Popeye used to say! But I will observe the message of the scripture and try not to overwhelm my new friends with all the stuff that I am doing. When essentially, all I am doing is searching for who I am, and what my purpose is in this world. I think I am on the right track.
My prayer for today:
Lord I thank You for being You. Always there for me and never ceasing to take me up on an invitation to be with me. Help me to rely more, and more on You every moment of my life. Help me to stay in touch with you every minute of my day. Praying without ceasing Lord is to stay in touch all day every day. I ask for a comfy place to sit at Your feet! So comfy that if I happen to drift away that I become uncomfortable immediately. Lord I want to dwell in Your shelter and live in Your shadow. That place that is not too cool and not too warm. Be my refuge and my fortress. I thank You for my deliverance and my covering. I no longer have the fear of growing old alone, because You have given the angels command over me. You will satisfy me with Your salvation. In Jesus name amen.

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