I write to talk to you about the current situation and I can’t believe how alone I feel right now. My daughter is laying in a hospital bed. Trying to sleep with pain in her torso. Her body working against our dreams to see my sweet granddaughter smile. She joins her uncle Cameron in the heavenly place where our unborn loved ones go once their life’s energy has left their earthly shell.

“Why do some get to bear children and they themselves are hateful?And loving people lose out and don’t get to see the joys of parenting? My response to my beautiful daughter whose only hope was to give me what had been snatched away from me! It’s not a punishment or some roll of the dice. It’s just life. Sometimes we get exactly what we want and sometimes we don’t. She’s lost her child and she’s apologizing to me!!! No baby you have no need to apologize!

Stillbirth is a heartbreaking experience and I wouldn’t wish the pain on anyone! Especially not my daughter who loves me and everyone else!

but here we are and we are suffering another loss of life and another blow to my already broken heart 💔 I pray that I don’t ever discover the answer to the question of “how much more can I take?” Yet still I ask myself! When do I catch a break? What do I do now?

I plan to attempt to help my daughter overcome the pain of losing her baby. I plan to love her and let her know that she is enough! I will work hard on not being selfish as the other person has stated that I am.

I will learn to be a good friend and good daughter and as for motherhood, I give up on the mother of the year award. I did the best that I could do at the time and that time is over. They are adults now and I have done all I could do.

Signed nowhere near perfect but I’m trying

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s