DrFeelGood: It’s TGIF Salt, and how is my favorite patient today?
Me: I am lovely doc. I’ve decided that I don’t need to be a queen. I prefer the role of princess!
(DrFeelGood laughs out loud)
DrFeelGood: I take it you did your homework on the duties of a queen unto the king?
Me: Yes doc! I am not submitting to a man unless he has a badge or the ability to walk on water!
DrFeelGood: I gotta know what is it about submission that bothers you so much?
Me: First off why should I blindly follow a man when he is just feeling his way along in the dark? Most men don’t know where they are going and are too stupid to ask for directions! Naw I can get lost on my own!
There were times in the past where I tried to let my man lead the end result was just like the saying goes, the blind leading the blind into a ditch!
DrFeelGood: You cannot believe that all men are blind and feeling their way in the dark.
Me: That’s been my experience. Although, I did have one (she looks up as if to grasp a memory in the recesses of her mind). No he meant well, but he was stupid too!
DrFeelGood: I think the queen idea is dead and for that I am grateful. Now you’re a princess? Why Salt?
Me: I want to be the one to lead my life. I trust myself beyond any man. Men are good for lots of other things though.
DrFeelGood: In your experience what are men “good for”?
Me: Heavy lifting, umm auto mechanics well some of them. Sex, again, some of them! Lol! Gimme a sec. I can list a few more things…
DrFeelGood shakes his head in frustration and poses a question.
DrFeelGood: Salt do you hate men?
Me: Huh? No way doc! I adore men! This ole world would be unlivable without them! I just don’t have any luck in love.
To be lucky in love in my opinion is to have a partner that shares your vision for life and love. You are striving for the same results. You both are able to trust and depend on the other because you want the same thing. What is that? You want to see your partner excel in life and love and believe and accept it as your duty to see that come together.
DrFeelGood: A successful relationship is not a result of luck. Quite the opposite of something just falling in your lap! It takes a lot of work! It takes sacrifice and support to name a few.
Me: I guess I’m out! I have done the stuff that you mentioned, and I am alone! So, proof positive that I am unlucky in love. 😞
DrFeelGood: That’s proof Salt that you invested in the wrong man, or wrong relationship. I cannot say emphatically which because relationships are complex. There are so many things that can determine how it goes.
Me: I am a lost cause. I will die a lonely old woman with 20 cats! I don’t even like cats! It’s a shame really 🤦🏽♀️
DrFeelGood: I don’t believe that nonsense! I am both afraid and curious but I just gotta know. Why is it a shame Salt?
Me: Look at me doc! I’m easy on the eyes 👀! I know that I am a catch and I am as sharp as a tac! I have a great sense of humor. I am educated and have a great career. I’m no slouch in the bedroom either! Tantric master, or is it mistress? 🤔Whatever I can get down!
DrFeelGood: That is a great grocery list Salt. The problem is that you don’t shop with a list of all the items you already have. Like I said before it begins with you. We will resume next week with your homework of finding what it is that you need and not what you have to offer Salt.
Me: Doc do you have a few more minutes? I have been thinking about something else that I really need your help with.
DrFeelGood: Sure thing Salt. What is it?
Me: I been doing what you asked and examining my behavior in relationships. I noticed a common trend in that I rush!
DrFeelGood: You rush what?
Me: I rush the feeling of being in love. I’m in a hurry to be close! I latch onto him but I am not sure why.
DrFeelGood: Are you sure you don’t know why Salt?
Me: I guess I’m lonely for what a relationship offers so when a man pays me some attention I jump on him. Lol
DrFeelGood: This is good! What do you think is the reason that you have to jump?
DrFeelGood is feeling a bit too excited for the opportunity to explore my realization of my premature plunging into love.
Me: It starts feeling good to me you know? The way he looks at me with adoration and hunger. I just wanna soak it up!
DrFeelGood: A man can be attracted to you and want you sexually and be content just to have sex with you while the rest of what defines a relationship is the furthest from his mind.
Me: Huh? (Salt scratches her head).
DrFeelGood: In the corner of a mans mind is there’s a place where vulnerability hides. And intimacy is not the act of physical intertwine. It’s a lyric from a song but there’s truth to it. Salt I would like you to spend the week attempting to uncover this sense of urgency to get attached. We will revisit that subject next Friday. Have a great day Salt!
Song lyrics from “Against me” by H.E.R.