It’s early Saturday morning and I have plenty of studying to do. I have 3 finals this week. Biology lab and lecture finals are Wednesday and chemistry is Friday. My thoughts should be on the books but nope! My mind is on love and romance.
I used to believe that the two are synonymous. If you’re in love than you’ll be romantic. Current events are making me think twice about this. I use this platform to sort it out.
Uncle Tony says it’s good to look up the definition of a word. Even when you’re sure you know the meaning the word can hold more meaning than you thought. Love is defined by Google dictionary as an intense feeling of deep affection. 🤔 Romance the noun is defined as a feeling
of excitement and mystery associated with love. I must include the definition of the verb romance and Google dictionary states it as meaning to court; woo. Now it’s quite simple to me that love vs. romance is a major issue of which I deal with personally. Let me see if I can explain. Included in the definition of love are the words ‘feeling’ and ‘affection’. Feelings are something that we all have in some capacity. What we’ve experienced in our lives thus far can determine our ‘feelings’. How we perceive and process events that take place plays a part in how we feel. Basically love and to whom we choose to ‘feel love’ for is extremely subjective. People like to say that we don’t have a choice in who we love but I don’t know if that is true. The more I think about it the more I believe that it is indeed a choice that we make. I am determined to meditate on the path we take in this choice because I think it’s partially subconscious. However, I reserve judgment on that for now.
Romance is closely associated with love but not the same thing. Obviously, one can have romantic feelings about someone they love. One can also romance someone they don’t “love”. Romance can be fun and fulfilling to me where love in very few moments in my life has been. Romance gives me license to woo and court someone in a cold world where love is most often not found. The problem is that most people that I have met don’t understand my methodology. I can accept Googles definition of love and live with that truth, but I believe as human beings we all share some insights about love that we don’t find spelled out in a dictionary. Unless of course you have a mental disorder that alters your true perception love is simple.
Love is inherent from our family as well as those people who have been around for a long time. Anyone who just happens to come along cannot love us in a way that we trust. Trust in love takes time to build. We gotta see if you will sacrifice. Will you fall on your sword? What will you or won’t you allow?
Action speaks to the truth within us, and we determine whether or not that action is a demonstration of love. After that determination we decide in part (subconsciously) if we want to do the same.
Romance is not the same as love. I don’t have to earn the place to romance. No falling on a sword or proving that I am willing to sacrifice. I only need your attention. In order to romance you, my advances only need reception. You can sit back and let me do what I am good at and bask in the glory of it all! I can fasten words together in such a way that you know you are special. My capacity to enchant will have you swooning over me like a teenager does a pop star!
Romance is my thing! I am damn good at it but it’s usually perceived as deceitful. I guess I can appreciate that. I mean where love is supposed to be eternal sacrifice and devotion. Romance is just a way of courting or wooing someone. Does the wooing have to have a destination? Why can’t I be me and flex my charismatic muscles? Let’s enjoy life and enjoy romance. Unfortunately, most want the endgame. Most want to have a special someone all their own. To belong.
I realize that we all want to belong to someone or something. We all have a need for love and sacrifice. Everybody wants at least one or two people who care so much for us that if we disappeared they would come looking for us. When we hear of people like Joyce Vincent we think,”I know that I don’t want to end up like her.” Belonging to someone is paramount to us all. Belonging makes us feel valuable. Belonging is the love that we look for and desire for ourselves.
I don’t look for that anymore. I believe that I have reached and filled my quota on that kind of love. When you meet and pursue me you get romance. It feels good to me. I’m like most people I enjoy finding things that I am good at and honing my skills. When practicing my romantic skills I don’t mean to come off as slick or smooth but I get accused of just that.
I love romance. Love not so much. I already have the kind of love that lasts forever. In that respect I have no lack. Now if you ask how so when you’re a divorcée? I have and receive it from my siblings and from my three adult children. My best friend Al along with the rest of those people holds an intense feeling of deep affection for me. If some day I went missing they would come looking for me. In the past I have shared love and devotion with a man. I know there is at least one man walking around right now that holds the Google dictionary’s definition of love within his spirit for me. His life’s path took him in another direction from me and even for that I am partly to blame. I choose not to dwell on that because I don’t believe that it could have been different. I accept my reality and keep moving forward. Regret is not loving or romantic. Why bother? Anybody out there down for romance?